he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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