Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
