It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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