The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
