thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
