also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
