I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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