what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
