i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize