what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
