Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
