I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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