Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
