Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize