When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
