That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
