Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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