wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
