After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
