yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
