she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
