i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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