I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
now i know why i became what i already was.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
