i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
