i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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