If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Gay?
German.
Pity.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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