You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
