That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
