Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
