No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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