If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and she was petting her beer can
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
