Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
