Cold hands, warm shart.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
