Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
