hotel room ftw
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
