i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
