just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
