The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
