STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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