when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
