She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize