hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I need a beard to bite.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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