She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize
