this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
