Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
