We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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