I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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