Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
