She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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