that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
