Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
