drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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