Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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