508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
