ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
