Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
