I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
