On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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