ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
