Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
