Will you blow on my dice?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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